War in Ukraine – How do you discuss the current crisis with your children?

We’ve been talking to our Yes Bebe community about the Russian War on Ukraine and how they’ve been discussing it with their children.

We understand that this will vary between different families taking into account their circumstances and the age of the child. Our thoughts are with those who have been directly impacted by the current situation. They have no option but to talk about it. 

Where do you start to talk about the war in Ukraine?

As we know, children soak up everything around them. This includes our emotions, what they hear at home, at school, or from friends. In our experience, being honest and open with children when answering any questions they may have is the best way to help them feel less anxious, but where to start?

Here’s what some of our community members had to say about the war in Ukraine…

“Not talking to the 4.5 yr old about it. Just shielding from the news. They can’t understand the concepts at this age – even if they can parrot it. And to have limited understanding only breeds anxiety. Have talked to the 14yr old – just a basic explanation of who did what and about NATO and refugees. I am collecting money to support families trapped with nothing. I’ve been doing that for years, when my house fills with aid I explain it is for children, men, women who have nothing and need help and that it’s always good to help…but I leave it at that.” –Ria

“We’ve spoken to all of ours about it, from 5yrs to 12yrs. They’re fine. My husband left the Army last year, and as he’s watching everything very carefully, it’s very much in the forefront of the house. This morning he told me he wants to go with the British volunteers to fight for Ukraine, which I’m not loving the idea of, and then obviously the impact on the children would be far greater.” -Kim

Some more views from our community group

“I’ve spoken to my 5yo about it as we passed a protest at the weekend and he asked what it was about. I would definitely recommend The Day War Came by Nicola Davies and The Suitcase by Chris Naylor-Ballesteros. Both brilliant books! I also tried to talk about Ukraine as a country with him (although admittedly my knowledge isn’t very extensive).” -Alice

“I haven’t discussed it with my children yet as they’re only 2 and 5 . They haven’t been exposed to any information about it, so no natural way to bring it up. However, I intend on talking to my older one about it this week. So that we can try to come up with ways to raise funds for the masses of refugees. We’ve already made a donation (my husband’s work are matching all donations at the moment. But I want our son to make a donation too. It’s important. He’s only 5 but half his family were refugees at one point. (Due to persecution rather than war, but still the same horrific outcome). So it’s time for us to pay it forward. I’m not sure what I’ll tell him, so will be eagerly following this thread for suggestions” –Navit

What else has our community members said?

“I have a 4 year old with a Russian Nana (pro Putin). I have been trying to shield her from the anti Russian rhetoric for some time, but am struggling myself now since they moved in on Ukrainian. She doesn’t see the news as she is too young, but she saw the issues with the Olympic figure skaters and got really upset. She is aware to a small degree that something is going on as Nana is upset and adults have talked about it in her presence (carefully). I explained that sometimes when countries don’t like the way each other behave, or argue about something, one or both may start pushing each other around or fighting and that it is very sad and very hard to fix. She has a lot of questions but I just deal with them on a piecemeal basis as honestly as I can. It is hard at the moment to find the words I’ll be honest…I don’t know what to do for the best because we have Russian family and Ukrainian friends. Just trying to give an honest, high-level overview.” –Laura

“We have been watching the news and my oldest (5 yrs) has been asking lots of questions. I just told him exactly what’s going on. He has been a bit upset about it. But it’s something that’s going to be taught in their history classes in time to come.” –Karen 

What are you discussing with your children about the war?

Have you had any conversations with your children about the current crisis? Do you have any tips on talking to children about such complex and upsetting circumstances? 

Some of our community members have recommended Newsrounds information on the war in Ukraine. Ideal for your older children – you can find it here. We would recommend parental viewing before to check it is suitable for your child.

If you’d like to join the conversation then make sure you join our Facebook Group Yes Bebe Babble or leave us a comment below.